A Really Hard Week

    Hi guys, I have some really bad news. We have lost six of our animals in one week. First, we lost Lila and Penelope, our probably only two hens out of our seven chicks. They are buried in our iris garden. Then, we lost four ducks, and that was one of the hardest things I have ever been through, because I forgot to lock them in their pen, for the first time even though I have done it several hundred times, and thus if I had remembered they would be alive. They were probably killed by a mink, as four were dead, and mink kill as many as possible, but we only found three, and they were not bloody at all, which is the hunting style of mink, and we have seen mink around our neighborhood. It killed Runner, Taru, Leroy, and Daisy. Honestly, I will miss them very much, but we found out that Taru had put up a fight to protect his girls, which ended in his death, but probably saved Illya and Dragon, and it makes me so proud and even sadder than before. I made a beautiful grave for them with iris, marigolds, lilies, and a blueberry bush. We could not find Leroy, and she is probably in the mink den. I wish I had remembered to put them in! I went over to my friend's house at 9 am and just cried on her shoulder for a good five minutes, because, well, they were a big chunk of my life. And now I keep on seeing delicate white feathers, and wanting to wake up from some sick dream, or remembering them when they were little ducklings, and crying. Some people don't know why I am so emotionally attached, and so this is why: I love my animals. No matter what they are, I love them. They are what are sure to make me smile, and also to make me cry when they are gone, and that is basically the description of love, right? Not many people seem to get that, unless they are my best friends or have loved an animal the way I have, or both. I feel sick, and lonely, and I miss my drake's lovely soft quack, and the conversation of the loud girls, and the cheeps of the chicks..... And, well, and I want to give up. I want the sorrow to be over, and for me to be able to sleep in and go to bed without worrying. But, as I think this, I realize so much joy would not be there, and it would completely change me, if I stopped having pets. I go through this every time a pet dies, and always, ALWAYS come to the conclusion that animals are part of who I am. Death of my pets is a big way of how I mature, even though it kind of really sucks, but I know it is God's plan that will work out for my good, no matter how bad I think this plan is for me. It will end in my better good, and in God's glory. I am not mad at God; I have decided not to be when one of my animals dies, as it has been my choice to have these animals. I finally ate breakfast yesterday, at 12:30, even though I really did not want to. I guess, I feel empty, and want to crawl in bed, but really, I know I just want to hold my ducks, even though I can't, because my two remaining won't let me, and the ones who would are in the ground, and I can never hold them, ever again. and that completely breaks my heart. I know this post was a bit of a downer, and I am sorry for that, but I really need to get my feelings out, and here they are. And I feel much better, in a weird, sad way. So thank you.

-Amelia





P.S. Ducklings will return soon!