Monday, May 8, 2017

Getting to know myself.

If someone ever says they know themselves, truly and wholly, I would not believe them. I learn new things about myself everyday. Some things I think I have known for a while, but I have never truly realized their depth. I have never realized that animals are a legitimate addiction, even though I have known it for years.
My latest "these will be the last ones!" other than the fish, which tend to be okay since they don't add too much work.



I never realized that whenever I ask for a new pet, I always, always, say, "After this, I will not ask for more. My collection will be complete."
I realized that today when I asked Dad if I could get this little creature instead of a coldwater tank:

"Please, Daddy! If I still want it by the time it is my birthday, can't I have it instead of my coldwater tank? I could empty all the water out, and it wouldn't take much care."

What Dad said next went something like this:

"It is not another animal that bothers me, but that this is an addiction that cannot be satisfied. Do you realize that every animal you get is supposed to be the last one? The one you are satisfied with?"

This is not just for animals with me. I always seem to need more: more stuff, more friends, more crushes. Yup, guess what? I like a boy. When I want something or like someone, I become obsessed, infatuated. I don't look at the flaws of the person (we are going to use that as an example for now, it applies to anything, though), and end up having an idealized view of who this guy is. So, ya know what, I like this guy. Pretty sure he doesn't like me, but if he does, and is stalking this blog, then hey bro. You don't know if I like you or not, but that is ok. I don't know ya too well, or anything, but I do want to say I respect you. Anyways, I like this guy and all, and ya know, he is pretty cute, super sweet, and respectful towards girls, and obviously, a Christian. Well, maybe it shouldn't be considered obvious. I have liked people before who weren't Christian, but quickly realized that would never work. Okay, sorry, I keep getting off topic. So, while this kid is great, and I wouldn't mind dating someday, I put him on this sort of pedestal, and make him this, this person who I have become obsessed with. And maybe not as badly as with some other people, but still I have made his image something unattainable, which is not fair to anyone. It makes his image more important than his person, and I am always unsatisfied with how he acts, since in my mind, he is supposed to be perfect. 

I have realized why I am never satisfied, why I have a personality that makes me more prone to addictions: I am never satisfied because I label things to create them into a different being. and my biggest issue is, I don't know how to stop. 

A way I can do it with knowing a person is to look and show myself that they do have flaws, but I don't want to make an image that makes me think worse of them. That is not fair either. 

I guess that is why I am always unsatisfied with animals I get... I try to make them sound like the best thing ever to convince my parents to let me get them, and once I have them... my expectations are let down, and I am not satisfied. And I am not grateful. And I continue on with my addiction, trying to fill holes. I search for relationships, because I am a social person, to fulfill my needs, and while those help, I need to rely on God. So I guess when I am feeling unsatisfied, instead of wanting more, I should see how I can find my satisfaction in GOD, and in God alone. 

I still don't quite know how to do that, to go or even talk to God well, but maybe this post will help me start that. I will read my Bible more when I feel upset since I am single, and when I want another animal, go to god and enjoy holding or watching the ones I have already. 40+ pets are plenty! Hey, maybe I will still get a worm snake, cuz they are awesome, but finding my identity in getting more things and animals and people cannot be the way I live anymore. 

This post is un-edited, but it puts my thoughts out there for you all. I want it to be this way so you can follow what I am saying, and I do apologize for the grammar things and stuff, but i started to write this post to convince my Dad to let me have a snake, and left feeling more content with what I have, and while still wanting this animal and to have this boy like me back, not craving or relying on these things for me to be whole. I am glad I learned this while it was with animals and a healthy relationship before it could turn into alcohol, drugs, and sex. 

There ya go. Unfiltered me, hopefully letting God shine through.

God Bless, 

Amelia and Menagerie, content and able to sleep for once. 


Saturday, March 11, 2017

Beach

I just got back from the beach last night, and it was fantastic. I made new friends, got a bit of a sunburnt face, and almost came home with a new rooster (which was living in the wild of the island), as I need a bantam one. We couldn't catch it, though, so...  no rooster. I discovered new twenty one pilots songs, one of which is right here, and you need to listen to it:
Taxi Cab
I have started playing the ukulele, and apparently I don't completely stink at it, because everyone always tells me to keep playing. I have a grand total of eight songs written, but most of them don't have actual music to go with them yet.
I got to get back into fishing on this trip, and caught several needle fish, a yellow fin snapper, and some really pretty orange sea-bass looking fish. We didn't eat any because only one was barely big enough, and it was just too beautiful to kill. And I may just be a softie when it comes to killing animals... idk.
My new friends are awesome, and may or may not be reading this (Hi if you are! You guys are the best, and I can't wait to get to know you all better!), but I feel kinda bad because I teased them a lot, and I want to apologize for that. I normally tease my classmates like crazy, and they just tease me back, so I don't know where to stop. Oh, and here is another twenty one pilots song you must listen to:
Slowtown
So, anyways, you guys are all the best, and I hope I get to meet you again!
I may be getting two pet community finches soon, because my pet quail needs a companion, as her most recent one has passed on, and quail are just fragile.
 I am sorry for this post being all over the place, but that is how my life has been lately :P
Do you guys want to see some of my songs I have written? I may post one soon :D Yet another song for you to listen to because it is so very good:
Addict with a pen
Here are some pictures of stuff:                                                                                  















Saturday, December 31, 2016

Pictures + Update (Last Post of 2016)

     Hi guys, I am so sorry for not writing in forever. I could apologize for paragraphs upon paragraphs, but that is boring ;). So, here are some things that have been going on lately!
Bareback, of course :) I am going to ride Chessie with my friend, Anna, in a few days, and it will be a tackless (no bridle or saddle!) ride!



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Making rat hammock sets (this one is for sale)

Making more rat hammocks.

Making wreaths and garlands :)

I also got a new rat cage, but don't really have any pictures of that yet... I will soon.
                                                     Making youtube videos!











So, I will be writing a proper post soon, but for now, I would say this is pretty good! Love you guys!
-Amelia :)








Saturday, October 15, 2016

Several legitimate reasons why horseback riding is actually a sport.

      Well, because the main sport I am participating in currently is horseback riding, I have been getting comments from some friends about how it doesn't take any work or is a useless sport and is just plain dangerous. So, because riding actually takes more work than sitting down, contrary to many beliefs, I figured it was time I wrote down a handy list that I can have people refer to with their smart phones when I get told horseback isn't a sport. So, without further ado, several reasons why horseback is actually a sport:
    No, I do not ride western, even though it looks that way from my hand position. I was taking the picture with my other hand, and still had to keep my pony under control.

    At the canter on Dijon.
  1. To ride a horse in any way, shape, or form, you are going to have to be physically exerted in some way or many ways. Riding a horse, and especially riding one well, is going be a lot of work. Even if you just lead a horse around, you are going to be wearing yourself out, mostly because horses are strong animals that love grass and can be very stubborn.
  2. Horse back riding is actually classified as a sport. Yerp. Shocker.
  3. Horses are super awesome animals that you get to have a bond with while you are with them. They are also highly intelligent. While this is not necessarily a reason why horseback is a sport, it still says horseback is awesome.
  4. Horseback riding is dangerous. But I guess living is the most dangerous thing ever because you are constantly risking death. Yes, I came up with that one, feel free to quote me ;). While horseback is a dangerous sport, it is one of the most rewarding, especially when you finally get your horse to go over a high jump at a steep turn or get a perfect leg yield that didn't need any reigns. You probably have absolutely no idea what I am talking about, but if you do, props to you! If you don't, you should go learn how to ride. Cuz it's fun. And looks awesome.
  5. You have a game plan. Or, at least a plan. Well, you should have a plan and you should stick to it. I am not very good at this. I accidentally forget the course all the time and end up cantering verticals on Lacy that I wasn't supposed to jump, let alone canter to. Especially on Lacy, cuz she is a horse that I am fairly new to riding. But, most people do have plans and they do stick to them. 
  6. You end up very sweaty after a ride. When you get back from horseback, you have to shower immediately, because not only have you sweated like crazy for an hour and a half, but you have been sitting on the back of an animal, so you also smell like said animal. But, compared to most animals, horses actually smell good to me... and to everyone else I know who rides. Other people seem to not like the wonderful aroma of hay and horse, which boggles my mind.
  7. You end up super sore afterwards. I used to have a coach in soccer that was in the army. We were very sore by the end of those two hours. That was nothing compared to how I feel the day after horseback. I can't even sit with one leg crossed on top of the other, my leg muscles are so sore. 
  8. It is super rewarding and I wouldn't give it up for anything. Horseback is insanely fun and isn't terribly hard to learn. It takes time and effort, but it is all well worth it when you are able to understand how your horse can understand your voice commands. And once you learn to canter bareback (which I did for the first time this week), you just feel super accomplished because you stayed on an animal that is going pretty fast without having something to keep you on its back.
       Okay, so you may not be convinced, so I am just going to show you random pictures of horses that I have ridden.

Riding Lacy :)

Lacy grazing after a long lesson. 



Chessie. Yeah, I know his halter is too big. It is actually for Lacy, but this was taken a while ago and the halter was the only one I could find.

     Now, I have ridden two other horses/ponies, but I could not find any pics of them. One of them has moved from our farm, so we will not get to see any of her. She was the first horse and the first mare I ever rode, and her name was also Lacy, but she was called grey Lacy, and the Lacy I ride now was Brown Lacy. The pony's name is Tucker Bell, and he is a tiny welsh pony that I rode for less than a month, but I still love that little cutie. So, I hope you enjoyed this blog post and maybe have a new perspective on horseback riding.


Friday, September 23, 2016

School, Another Ball, and Debate

     That is what makes up my life right now. Oh, and babysitting, church, and horses... I live a very normal homeschool life. Kind of. Okay, so school is going pretty well, I aced my Latin scripture quiz, and am slowly catching up on math. I have started to get 8 hours or more of sleep, thanks to getting to bed before 10:00 pm now. I read school books or do math at night until I need to sleep. Right now I am reading Paradise Lost by John Milton, and I get to read The Pilgrim's Progress and write a paper on it this week. I had my first debate today, and I think we won. I do not really know. The debate was about GMOs. Here is what we were working off of:  Resolved: The U.S. government should ban the use of genetically modified food. Our team was assigned the negative position, and we found that out this morning, and we debated this afternoon. Being on negative was a bit hard for me for two reasons. One, I am very much against GMOs and did not like defending them, as I am actually sensitive to GMO corn. Second of all, my partner and I were not well prepared for negative. We had to be prepared for both sides, which was interesting. I was shaky and feeling like I was going to faint, and my feet did not really like the three inch heels I was wearing going into the debate. Afterwards, I told everyone I thought I did horribly, but they assured me that I did very well. They said I was the best. I said that that is debatable. Pun intended. So, that was fun. After that, we finished up the school day by looking at rancid pond water mixed with many gross things. Last week we had found Dave, our pet and mascot paramecium, but sadly did not save the awesome footage of him. He will always be in our hearts. This week, we found dead bacteria, I do not really know what types. We were hoping to find another Dave, but we could not, much to our chagrin. After school, we went to Sweet Frog and got fro yo, all except Josh, because he can drive and was on his way home. I got home and Anthea set up her new hammock and my friend Sarah and I played on the swing. I decided to try some Halloween makeup for my costume, which is going to be a deer. I am also going to the first annual Autumn Ball! Yes, the same organization that hosts the ball I went to this spring is having a ball in the fall now, as well as the one in the spring. That is very exciting, and I am using a dress I have had around for a year or two. It is blue and green shimmers. I am hoping to have a getting ready for the ball with some other girls my age. My chickens are doing okay, but Nutmeg and Chia got eaten by a hawk a week or two ago. I have been going over lots of jumps on Lacy in horseback, which is awesome. I got to babysit our friend's new baby, and she was so sweet. They have a farm with goats and cows, as well as chickens. I would love to write more, but I am exhausted and want to go rest for a bit. Love you guys!
-Amelia

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

School, School, and, Wait! There's more! More School, of Course!

   So, as you have probably gathered from the title, I have a lot of school. A lot. Now, I have skipped a grade in Classical Conversations' Challenge class. If you have been through Challenge, then you may know that it is, well, challenging. I also had already skipped some other math... books up to skipping ninth grade, which set me up for a lot of new learning. Put on top of all that, I also have a full time Latin class. And I am attempting to write a book. And I have a small farm to run, complete with messy ducklings that I have to vacuum up after. I am very tired most of the time, and I have to work on the weekends. I have cried, laughed hysterically, which is probably worse, and even dyed my hair because I just cannot think quite right at the moment. The hair dye has thankfully faded, and I am happy that I am back to being me without hot pink hair. Yes, I did dye several inches of my hair, and yes, it was hot pink/red. All this being said, I am having the time of my life. I have a wonderful class that dotes on me and teases me all at the same time. I get teased by one, the other two defend me. I am getting better sleep than I have in a while, mostly due to the fact that I am getting less, but much more of it is before midnight. I was getting to bed around midnight and getting up at ten... Now I get to bed around 9:15 and get up at 6:30. The pets are not getting the attention they deserve, and I am re-homing my betta fish. I have given away five roosters and hope to play with the rats more often. I am working on my school like crazy, and in doing so, it is teaching me how to truly work. Maybe I will actually graduate college at 19 because I get to skip a grade. Maybe  I won't. But I know how to get my self to sit down and work for several hours now. That will most definitely come in handy with writing my book. When I have a free Saturday, if I ever do, I am going to make myself sit down with this computer and write for two hours, at least. I will probably be able to get a few chapters written that way, and I will hopefully get back in the groove of writing in my spare time. So, even if I have tons of work, I know how to get through it: I will work until I am done or as close as I can get, and that is that. I have already skipped a horseback lesson for school, but it turns out I didn't have the money to pay for it, anyway. Okay, okay. Moral of my life is, drum roll, please, Rely on God, Work Hard, and Get Going. Oh, and love animals.
Bye Guys! Love ya so much!
-Amelia